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Setting boundaries with your parents is one of the hardest things you'll do as an adult — and that's not a character flaw, that's just the dynamic. No matter how old you are or how much work you've done, something about standing in front of your parents and saying something they don't want to hear makes you feel like a kid again. Small. Wrong before you've even started.
Part of that is the "be respectful" thing. Most of us learned what respect looks like directly from our parents — which means we're working off their definition. And in that definition, respecting them often meant not pushing back, not saying no, not having a need that inconvenienced them.
That's not respect. That's compliance. And it's really hard to tell the difference when you've been doing it your whole life.
These 5 scripts are for the adult part of you — the part that knows you're not eight anymore, even when it doesn't feel that way.
You'll get scripts for:
When they criticize how you're parenting your kids
When they guilt-trip you for not calling or visiting enough
When they bring up the thing you've already asked them not to
When they comment on your body, your partner, or your choices
When they're upset that you're setting a boundary at all
Setting boundaries with your parents is one of the hardest things you'll do as an adult — and that's not a character flaw, that's just the dynamic. No matter how old you are or how much work you've done, something about standing in front of your parents and saying something they don't want to hear makes you feel like a kid again. Small. Wrong before you've even started.
Part of that is the "be respectful" thing. Most of us learned what respect looks like directly from our parents — which means we're working off their definition. And in that definition, respecting them often meant not pushing back, not saying no, not having a need that inconvenienced them.
That's not respect. That's compliance. And it's really hard to tell the difference when you've been doing it your whole life.
These 5 scripts are for the adult part of you — the part that knows you're not eight anymore, even when it doesn't feel that way.
You'll get scripts for:
When they criticize how you're parenting your kids
When they guilt-trip you for not calling or visiting enough
When they bring up the thing you've already asked them not to
When they comment on your body, your partner, or your choices
When they're upset that you're setting a boundary at all